Lesson 2: How to break builds without breaking sweat

Hello My Little Devils,

I hear that you are out of work and I am concerned.

The time for action has come and we need to make sure our victims are worried in the year 2012.. !!!!!!!

So…  To help you,

Here are my tips to kill the builds and delay the release…

With References from :

Adios and Hoping for a good success in killing Agility !

Your Beloved Agile Devil

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Lesson 3: Presenting “Accurate Estimates”

Are you bored ?? 

Are you feeling low ??

Are you looking for a challenge ??

Do you love to make people confused ??

Do you want to be on an adventure trip??


Ask for

Accurate Estimates©

Agile Devil’s workshop is proud to present its brand new tool

 “Accurate Estimates© “

“Accurate Estimates©“has been developed after years of research in our very own devil’s lab and it will help you to

            Raise your profile in front of customers

                               Identify the neck to wriggle when the estimates do not match actuals

                   Have unlimited fun looking at frowny, discontent or hidden faces

 Help you find loopholes in others’ work and give them lower appraisals

Give you the confidence in client meetings even though you know things may change

   Make sure the team is ranked most productive and works 12-15 hours a day

 Be recognized as the innovator and change the age old wrong definition of estimates ( Approximation, guess, etc. etc.)


                                            

So, order your very own copy now and enjoy the fun !!!!

Yours,

AGILE DEVIL

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Lesson 4: Slowing down project delivery

‘Agile Devil’s Workshop’

presents

Slow Project Delivery“©

Agile Devil’s workshop is proud to premier first time in the world, its unique, unmatched service offering to slowdown project deliveries and frustrate customers..

Just follow these simple steps to experience our time-tested process to make sure your customers are always engaged with you …

1. Play Mario:

Simple, Let the customers run after you. Just like Mario has to cross different levels and fight gatekeepers at each step. Make sure your process gatekeepers checks the deliverable closely and thoroughly and make every effort to knock out the delivery. After all, We have all the time on our hand….

2. Keep it Manual :

Automation creates redundancy. So never allow test cases, delivery process or build to be automated. Manual steps always work best and ensure time is well spent by team members in doing silly tasks

3. Keep the customers away :

Customers are a precious resource. They should be kept away from prying eyes of developers to shield them from looking at their product early. This will ensure they have to pay you for enhancements and defects closure after the release. Its business after all, you see…

4. Make it complex:

It has to be complex to sell..Simple solutions make us look bad and will not earn money. So make the designs and solutions so complex that only you and your team can solve. Simple business. Customer will be hooked on to your for life

So, What are you waiting for….

ORDER NOW !

You will get peace of mind, more business and constant money

and as a special offer, we give you

Frustrated customers and Burnt-out programmers absolutely FREE !

HURRY ! Offer Limited..

Contact:

Agile Devil

Agile Devil

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