Agile Devil's Workshop

These Agile coaches……

They really make me LMAO when I listen to their poor efforts to transform organizations to be more Agile

Understand what you want…

Find business challenges to resolve…

Identify the process…..

Pilot the process……..

Spread the message and the practices

I mean, are they nuts ?

Who on earth has that much amount of time and money !!!!!

But don’t worry, my dear disciples. Your guru has just the right recipe for you…

Just make sure you mix the ingredients right I am sure you would enjoy the fastest transformation recipe. Here you go.

Ingredients :

• 10-15 Team Leads or Managers
• 1-2 Senior Project/ Program Managers to drive the program
• Guidebooks for CSM, RUP, CMMi, ISO etc etc
• Sufficient meeting and training rooms
• 1-2 Quality/ SEPG for nourishing and checking progress of the recipe

Steps :

• Make all PMs / Leads certified :

The best way to  get certified is to create as many certified team members in your company as possible.Certifications not only make their CVs look good , they would also get you a good appraisal as your bosses would know how dedicated you are to your work and save costs to company. The certification could be any CSM, PSM, PMI-ACP, ICI etc etc…the flavor is the key

Cost Saving Tip:

To add a twist, you can also make sure the training is in the company premises itself . So, if you need these valued resources in middle of training, you can pull them out of training anytime

• Organize mass trainings for developers:

Make sure all the team members have gone through 2 day training rigor and have dozed, snoozed and passed through  an exam to test their agility right after

Cost saving Tip :

All the training can be conducted by the newly crowned PMs aka Scrum Masters

• Define the Agile process :

With the senior directors and client representatives define the Agile process teams have to follow. Don’t worry if you have tweak a few principles because you think they cannot be followed in your organization. You can still  safely call it Scrum/XP or whatever else…after all you are the Guru. You know the best

Your PMs aka SMs should make sure every one in the team  follows the process religiously . All the ceremonies, no documentation , no planning….You can even attach it to their appraisal goals

• Conduct the audits and punish the guilty :

Now is the part of the SEPG and QA garnishing.

Every quarter the SEPG should evaluate the project and Scrum Masters on ‘compliance’ with the ‘Scrum’ process and make sure those fully compliant with Scrum are promoted and made Senior Scrum masters and  “Agile Coaches”

That way you can show them off and sell them to clients  to earn more money for the organization (who knows you might also land a lucrative offer as the ‘chief Agile Coach” for mentoring so many coaches  )

Chalo, I need to sign off for the day…I hope I see your company being Agile , tomorrow morning…

Ciao!