How to kill Quality and Testing in your sprints

Hi My Fellow Agilists,

I am your neighborhood Agile Devil and today, As my first learning to you,  I bring you some tips on how to effectively Kill Testing in your sprint and the Quality of your deliverables !!!!

I hope they work well for you, My dear brethren ……

Make Sure the team picks up more stories than the QA Expert/Team can test
Make Sure your code changes continue till last date of the sprint.
Make Sure all stories complete on last 1-2 days of sprint so that the QA expert is overwhelmed about executing test cases on the last day of the sprint.
Make Sure tasks published on Scrum task board do not have test plan review, test execution and bug fixing so that they are conveniently forgotten till that last day of the sprint.
Make Sure story priorities are ignored so that all stories start and end on same days.
Make Sure Some bugs are definitely carried to the next sprint and to the bug backlog.
Make Sure No Regression testing is possible in the sprint so that the bugs cannot be found before the end of release is near. This would keep the regression team very busy too.
Make Sure you ignore hints of expected help from the QA Expert and focus only on the tasks assigned to you. That’s the only thing which is important, Not the team goals.
Make Sure Minimum time remains for Bug fixing at the end of sprint. This would ensure high quality bugs till late in release.
Make sure DoD is never looked into sprint review and is invisible on team pages too .
Make sure your bugs are not tagged to stories/ features. This way nobody would be able to trace where it all started.
Make sure your estimates include only the development complexity/size and not the test complexity and size


Your Beloved Agile Devil



One response to “How to kill Quality and Testing in your sprints”

  1. Amongst all, I like the last one. No matter how many times we burn, we never learn. QA along with UAT and Integration are never included in DoD. It is okay if they are outside the scope of the scrum team. But this is not always the situation. We had an Integration team, outside the scrum team, however, still had members from our scrum team, so their capacity was considered for Integration activities. But I never saw that capacity being considered in the estimate. Why??

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