Agile Devil's Workshop

My Little Devils,

Today, I come back here, to announce a very important and strategic partnership that would help us achieve our life mission of “Killing Agility“.

I am very happy to announce, our global partnership with ‘Agile Astrologers’ across the world to help us thwart this Evil of Agility. I am confident, that with this new partnership our hands will be strengthened to fight this Agile pandemic which has spread all across the world.

Agile Astrologers are a diverse group of people and companies which are deeply embedded into the corporate world as agile coaches, consultants, consulting companies , agile trainers and training companies. With hundreds and thousands of them present in every country and continent, it will make our job of fighting Agility together,much more easier.

The inspiration for this partnership, actually came from none other than, our very own Bollywood heros. I was watching a beautiful and soothing movie for devils:

In this wonderful movie,as Mudit tries to find a solution to his problem, he visits various psychics, babas, pandits, doctors and more and each one gives him a fast quick fix solution to the problem.

Just I was pondering this, I had a dream and in my dreams I saw that one power, who can fix anything:

And Babaji said to me, To Kill Agility just look at people who are highly paid and trusted to bring Agility to the organizations and make them your ally, then “कृपा हो जाएगी” ( You will be blessed)” and voila, I found our new allies, The Agile Astrologers.

The best part of our partnership with Agile Astrologers is that their customers already trust them to provide them the best temporary solutions for change and they are willing to pay highly for their magical medicines:

Actually, their formulations are simple:

Problem finding customers – Write Agile in your company introduction

Problem with Agile knowledge of team – Create 5000 Certified, Professional and Licensed Scrum Masters

Team collaboration problem: Run Daily Stand-ups and Scrums

Our new allies specialize in giving piecemeal quick fix solutions to every problem that the CEOs/Executives tell them and they also specialize in escape.

Before the customers realize that the quick fix solution will not help them change and they have spent a huge amount on “Snake oil”, our Agile Astrologers friends vanish.

They are already in a different country, different city, different boardroom, selling more of their medicines.

and that’s why I am banking so much on our partnership with Agile Astrologers. When the clients realize that they have been taken for a ride and real change has that “Agile” promised has not happened, they would blame Agile and bury the thoughts of adopting it. Yet all the time trusting their Agile Astrologers for the next sweet medicine.

And now, the last two strengths of our Agile Astrologer friends:

First, they come in all shapes and sizes: from individuals ( Produly calling themselves ‘Independent Agile Coaches“) to “Certified” trainers( with big student following) , Consulting divisions of large software companies. There are also the big multinational converted ones, who were earlier selling Management and Business Consulting and now they have disguised their fake Agile pills as Business Agility Solutions and Management Agility Solutions.

So, wherever you need them to disrupt Agile, our new allies are present to help you in destroying Agility.

And the last and the best part, Our Agile Astrologers are growing in strength by the day, as, it is very easy, to grow another Agile Astrologer.

Anyone who thinks they can be an Agile Astrologer ( or simply, if they are not finding any other job in the corporate world), simply need to enrol for a 2 day online workshop by another Astrologer, get a stamp (Certification) and voila, they are ready to be added to the Agile Astrologer Corps. Easy peasy, isn’t it 😀 !!

So, my little devilish followers, let’s make the best use of this combined strength with our new partners and ensure that we wipe out the Agile green shoots which are arising in every new company. Sooner than later!

Three cheers to a lasting friendship and partnership with our new partners, The Agile Astrologers.

Hip Hip Hurray! Hip Hip Hurray! Hip Hip Hurray!